i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
