i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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