I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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