What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
