cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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