loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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