capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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