let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
