Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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