So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
this just has baby written all over it
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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