Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
