Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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