i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
