i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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