i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
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buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
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I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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