I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
