My brain says no but my pants say off.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
