i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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