I've blown a few things in my day
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
