his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
