I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
