were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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