Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
