After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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