I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
