scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
soo... how was my night?
Will exercising make me less horny?
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