i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
the condom got lost in my hair
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
