PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
