I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
