Midget sex pt 2 tonight
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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