TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
