I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
