So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
