Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I cannot find my penis.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
