I wanna bring you to show and tell
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
