everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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