apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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