Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
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