Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
