I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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