I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
