quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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