so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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