marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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