I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
