from now on my penis is your penis
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
