hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
