I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
