just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
