it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
