i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
