just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
