You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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