I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
