sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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