real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
