dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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