Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Randomize
