Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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