Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
We have so much sex to catch up on
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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