I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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