No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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