She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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