i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
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