Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
