He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
there was a trapeze. enough said
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
