We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
