so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
