Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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