Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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